HUFFLEPUFF - THE ONLY PUFF TO GIVE A HUFF by Rita Skeeter

HUFFLEPUFF--THE ONLY        PUFF TO GIVE A HUFF By Rita Skeeter, Professional HBiC Many of us ask questions during dark times. “Who is to be trusted?” “Where do I come from?” “Why am I here?” “Where am I going?” Ask no more. The truth, witches and wizards, is shocking yet sure: There is no one to be trusted but Hufflepuff. News of last week’s Gryffindor attack shook Hogwarts on its aged hinges but it "appeared" to bounce back with much cover up from the students and teachers. When the aging Albus Dumbledore was approached with questions of how Gryffindor’s betrayal affected him he only said "It is important to fight and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay though never quite eradicated." But it seems Albus' tales are as long as his beard (which I hear is where he hides sticky lemon drops to eat later) and his "wisdom" seems to have failed us once again. Oh! There is an owl tapping on my window this very moment—it brings news of another attack from the Slytherins, and wait, the Ravenclaws were involved as well! It seems ‘ol Albus was hiding more than a few lemon drops beneath his light-hearted  expression. Young Gryffindor, Ty Anderson was heard  bellowing “…it’s true that the learned are the first to fall” after a ghastly attack from a group of Slytherins and Ravenclaws (who prefer to be called Slytherclaw from now on). No doubt those Ravenclaw on their crumbling pedestal will bleat that they did not, after all, team up with the known Dark-Lord-following Slytherins. However, the truth seems altogether more shocking. The End Is About To Begin! The Harry Potter Activity will start right at 7pm on Thursday night. Be fully prepared for your house introductions right at 7pm. Each house should bring some treats to the activity on Thursday and night and be prepared to battle for the house cup. Points will be given, a house will be crowned!

THE DARK LORD RETURNS! By Sybill Trelawney, Professor of Divination

Prophecy of the dark lord's return! By Sybill Trelawney, Professor of Divination The first prophecy: The Servant Rejoins His Master It will happen tonight. The Dark Lord lies alone and friendless, abandoned by his followers. His servant has been chained these twelve years. Tonight, before midnight… the servant will break free and set out to rejoin his master. The Dark Lord will rise again with his servant’s aid, greater and more terrible than ever he was. Tonight… before midnight…the servant… will set out…to rejoin…his master….” The second prophecy: The Chosen One On thursday night… the one with power to vanquish the Dark Serpent… born in an underground tunnel… and the Dark Serpent will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Serpent knows not… and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives… and the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Serpent will stand alone, triumphant, at the feet of a lion, a raven, and a snake.  If You Still Want To Make A Wand It's Not Too Late Drop by Kensington 5 sometime before the activity on Thursday if you want to make a wand. What's Your Patronus?  Expecto Patronum! Take this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what your Patronus is. Quiz

Gryffinchore  Or               Gryffinwar? By Rita Skeeter, Professional HBiC Have the Gryffindors raised the white flag by hanging the same shab of material from last year? Has their creativity dried up or is their taste as bad as Head of House Minerva McGonagall's wardrobe would suggest? But it seems bad taste and laziness isn't the only crime against the "brave-hearted." It has been voiced by one Demarie Anderson (first year Slytherin) that these young rebels should be convicted of "breaking and entering." It is not difficult to spot where their crimes have taken place since they have marked the scenes with a red heart. This seems only too similar to the "dark mark" that was placed by one of the Death Eaters in the scene of crime during the time of He-who-must-not-be-named. Are we to prepare ourselves for another Death Eater uprising?  One always hesitates to point fingers but it was heard last night during a rather cruel attack from a team of Gryffindors that fellow lion Bridget Banks could not touch the Hufflepuff flag, for her  "hands would burn." Was this not the same case for Professor Quirrell when he forced to touch goodness?  We must not let her blonde sweetness fool our children into a false sense of security. And for those who want to know the extent of their evil acts, my new biography: Dumbledore's Army: The Dark Side of the Demob will be available from Flourish and Blotts on July 31st. QUIDDITCH TRYOUTS COMING SOON! Do you have what it takes to make your house quidditch team?

ESCAPE FROM AZKABAN

ESCAPE  FROM  AZKABAN! By Rita Skeeter, Professional HBiC Sirius Black, possibly the most infamous prisoner ever to be held in Azkaban fortress, is still eluding capture, the Ministry of Magic confirmed today.  "We are doing all we can to recapture Black," said the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, this morning, "and we beg the magical community to remain calm." Fudge has been criticised by some members of the International Confederation of Wizards for informing the Muggle Prime Minister of the crisis. "Well, really, I had to don't you know, said an irritable Fudge. "Black is mad. He's a danger to anyone who crosses him, magic or Muggle. I have the Prime Minister's assurance that he will not breathe a word of Black's true identity to anyone. And  let's face it - who'd believe him if he did?" While Muggles have been told that Black is carrying a gun  (a kind of metal wand  that Muggles use to kill each other), the magical community lives in fear of a massacre like that of twelve years ago, when Black murdered thirteen people with a single curse. HARRY POTTER PERSONALITY TYPE Find out which Harry Potter character you are most like based on your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. QUIDDITCH TRYOUTS COMING SOON! Do you have what it takes to make your house quidditch team?

BuzzFeed - 12 Reasons Why Hufflepuff House Is Actually Bad-A

12 Reasons Why Hufflepuff House Is Actually  Bad-A

Did Pottermore put you in Hufflepuff? Excellent. Welcome to the best-kept secret of Hogwarts.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/charlotte820/12-reasons-why-hufflepuff-is-actually-badass-9rx2#.giWy5kVnx

posted on Jul. 23, 2013, at 10:31 a.m.

1. The common room is right next to the kitchens.

Gryffindor, Slytherin, and Ravenclaw are all like 50 flights of stairs away from the food. Studies have shown they have 27% more wizard angst as a result.

2. It’s also basically a hobbit hole. Bilbo didn’t want to leave and neither will you.

Via tumblr.com

“It is round and earthy and low-ceilinged; it always feels sunny, and its circular windows have a view of rippling grass and dandelions.” Like seriously, there are even foot warmers.

3. The house ghost is super chill.

Nearly Headless Nick has identity issues, The Grey Lady is depressing, and, as anyone who’s ever played the PC games knows, the Bloody Baron will try to kill you. Meanwhile the Fat Friar’s just like, “Yo dude y’all do whatever you want, Imma just be chilling in the kitchens until further notice.”

4. But the mascot is METAL.

p

Via tumblr.com

Apparently JK Rowling was going to make the Hufflepuff mascot a bear, but upon further consideration must have realized that bears care too much.

5. We had RPatz before he was RPatz.

Via tumblr.com

‘Sup, witch?

6. We also have Tonks.

Remember that time you were reading the fifth book and it was like angst angst angst angst WAIT A MINUTE THIS CHICK IS AWESOME. That’s right. You do.

7. And after Gryffindor, Hufflepuff had the most people stick around to fight Lord Voldemort.

Via tumblr.com

Remember that time Hogwarts was under siege and all the Hufflepuffs wussed out? That’s right. You don’t.

8. Everyone says we don’t have any defining qualities, but we actually have some pretty good ones. Like, we work hard.

Via tumblr.com

“For Hufflepuff, hard workers were most worthy of admission.” Group projects are like a nonissue in this house.

9. We know what it means to be loyal.

Via tumblr.com

“You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal.” Think about it, this is the only house that doesn’t have a traitor. Gryffindor has Peter Pettigrew, Ravenclaw has Xenophilius Lovegood, and Slytherin has like… everyone. But Hufflepuff? Your word is gold.

10. We’re NICE.

Hufflepuff is the “friendliest, most decent house of them all.” In fact, we turn out the fewest dark wizards.

11. And finally, we’re the most open-minded.

Via wordpress.com

“Said Hufflepuff, ‘I’ll teach the lot and treat them just the same.’” The other founders are being all high-maintenance and competitive about who to let in and Helga’s just like WHATEVER PARTY AT MY PLACE. Like, you know this house is leading the charge on all the wizard civil rights issues.

12. But you might not know any of that, because Hufflepuffs are generally too humble to brag.

Via i.qkme.me

That’s why we need lists like these.

So if you’re a Hufflepuff, be proud. And remember:

Via tumblr.com

Butterbeer’s in the fridge.